Maybe They Don’t Know How

I am starting to believe that some people fail in relationships because they don’t know how to be in one. My generation is the single parent generation. The reason I say that is because if you have never seen someone be in love and know what it takes then how will you know? For example, take a man that was raised by a single mother. He probably never seen his mom date or be in a committed relationship. Some single mothers try to keep the boyfriend away from the kids for reasons I can understand. That man might not know how to treat his woman like a queen because he never seen his mom treated like one. How will he know how to cater to her every need, how will he know how to be sensitive for her? This day and age, showing sensitivity (especially in the African American household) can be looked at as being gay. Sometimes for me I honestly don’t know what I am doing half the time I am dealing with a woman. I often fuck up and they view it as being insensitive or an asshole and call it quits. Well why don’t you teach? Some men you can’t teach because of pride, being stubborn, or just being blind to the fact that they are doing something wrong and refuse to change.

When It comes to women, a lot of them didn’t see their mom cater to a man. They didn’t see how she stroked the ego, they didn’t see how the mom loved him through his good days and bad days. Now a days women confide in other women who also have absolutely no idea what they are doing and it makes things worse. A lot of women don’t know how to be submissive because they view it as being weak. I can imagine why though. They have never seen their mother be submissive. With only seeing their mother work and take care of business they never seen the sweet sensitive side of her. If a man comes along and try to change it they view it as them not loving them as they are and you don’t want that.

Single mothers often just work to provide for the household. Forgetting to show other things like love for the opposite sex which in turns mess up the child view on what it takes to be in love. Generation after generation of this and soon love will be known as a fuck buddy you had for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not true for everyone. After awhile some people will get tired of being alone and will realize what they will have to do in order to have someone around forever. I think love these days fail because a lot of people don’t know what it takes. They see the movies and hear the songs and want an exact duplicate of perfect love and that doesn’t exist.

This might be a little far fetched but this is what I’ve come to see. People will invest in their future by going to college. Taking out loans, studying for finals, writing papers, being away from home, etc all in the name of an education. What if the financial office was honest when you first started college and told you “When you graduate, you probably won’t find a job in your field and for the first couple years after graduation you will be working at walmart.” Would you still hold your head up high about going to college and graduating? Would you still be willing to invest everything into that? Why should love be looked at any differently? Not even love, why not look at a relationship like that? You will be away from home, everyday wont be great, you will have to invest time and money, etc. but it MIGHT not work. Sometimes you will want to quit but don’t. But that’s neither here nor there. Stop and think. Sometimes people aren’t afraid of commitment, maybe they just don’t know how to love because they have never witnessed it in person.

-Dizzy