Starting Over…

Why ask for your number? Why even engage in this knowing that nothing will come of it? I mean, you’ve been hurt and I’ve been hurt. Hell, you’ve hurt folks and so have I. I don’t want to learn about you… Your birthday, your favorite colors, what you like to eat, how you like to be held and how you want to be fucked! Why take the time to even start something knowing that it might not last? The energy it takes to get you to trust me and know that I’m not only about sex and to get you to get over ya ex and the shit he did to you is tiring! That task alone is enough to detour me away from starting over..

All this ran through my head when I was about to ask this female for her number. The funny thing to me is this, I will convince a chick to stop talking to the guy who giving her all this heartache and pain, all the bullshit with the guy who won’t be her boyfriend only to end up doing the exact same thing! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being negative, I’m just being honest. Who wants to start over and repeat the exact same thing over and over when it comes to this dating game? It’s taking its toll on my heart. I know females think the exact same way! Ya ll know that shit isn’t going to work out with a guy so what y’all do? Get a good one night out of him and then just become “busy”! Why even entertain the idea of you starting over with a new guy when you know it ain’t hitting on nothing? Smart..

It’s a whole HEAAAP of folks who just loving to love. They not actually in love, they just love the idea of being in love with a certain person and that’s how folks get hurt. I know I have been in love only twice. Erica and India.. I don’t know why females think I have a whole slew of chicks just all on me, naw. Maybe if I could ignore my conscious begging me not to bring another headache in the equation I would, BUT, I can’t. Shit is all sweet at first with “new comers” till the questioning starts, the insecurities kick in and the conversation turn sour. I know its bound to happen.. I know it. The fucked up thing is, when I TRY to be a females friend for a minute, just to test it out (maybe its males too, ladies let me know) but they start feeling me and want to date me RIGHT THEN or its a problem. If I don’t date them, they will stop talking to me and end the friendship altogether because they want to date me when THEY think its right. I know that has happened to me a few times. Bullshit!

All I know is, I hate being single but I love being single. Its bitter sweet. I miss the companionship and all the cute shit that comes with it but I don’t miss the headaches and bullshit that came along with it as well. To me, the bullshit out weighs the good shit so I refrain from starting over for right now. I tried too many times!! What about y’all? Let me know why YOU in a relationship or not in a relationship. Is this true for you too or am I just bugging out?